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Copyright 2010 to 2011 Michael Harmon. All rights reserved. No portion of this website may be reproduced
without the expressed permission of Michael Harmon LCSW
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Going to marriage counseling or pre-marriage counseling is a difficult decision. It is a personal
decision and not one that must be taken lightly. Both parties need feel that they made a good
choice in picking there marriage counselor. Although there are no guarantees, below are some
questions and points to consider when choosing a marriage counselor. I hope they are helpful
to you.
1. What does it feel like being with the counselor for the first time?
Is the office comfortable, or does the counselor put a coaster under your drink when
you put it down. Does the counselor feel down to earth, or is he/she cold and emotionally
withdrawn. Is it easy to make small talk, or is the counselor a "know it all", an arrogant
snob and stuck in their head.
2. What is the counselor's approach to counseling.
Is your counselor compassionate and empathetic? Do they believe that people are born
good and lovable, or do they believe people are born genetically deficient.
3. Can the counselor define how they are going to help you.
Does the marriage counselor include you in the treatment plan? Does the counselor give you
concrete tools you can take home and practice? Does the counselor explain how
his counseling process works.
4. Has your counselor been in counseling himself/herself?
No one is perfect. Everyone could use counseling sometime or another in their life.
One of the best ways to know how to help people is to have been there yourself.
Living through the experience helps one to be more understanding and empathetic
to there clients. Some of the best healers are wounded healers, in the process of
healing themselves have learned to help heal others.
5. Can your counselor admit they make mistakes?
Is your counselor open to feedback? Can they admit when they make a mistake?
A healthy counselor is open to feedback and should be able to look at themselves,
their feelings and be willing to admit to making mistakes.
6. Does your counselor seek out peer consultation?
A wise counselor will be able to admit that he/she does not know everything. Consultation
assists counselors in learning more, reviewing a case, helping when stuck, making sure
one's own feelings are not interfering with the counseling process.
7. Does your counselor continue to educate themselves in there field?
All counselors need to be in the practice of bringing there skills up to date. This means
taking continuing education in there field of expertise. Some counselors will always look
for the cheapest courses to appease the state commission that regulates there license. This
is not always the best method of increasing one's own knowledge base.
8. Is your counselor's graduate program recognized?
Your counselors graduate school program should be recognized and certified by the
governing authority that recognizes the profession. For example. A graduate social work
program should be certified by the National Association For Social Workers. Do not settle
for less.
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